lost

the first week of clinicals has been...so draining...and if you compare it to the actual time when we are actually doing anything substantial, it's utterly ridiculous. really.

Sigh..but of course I do feel a bit comforted when that occasional doctor/senior just stops by you to tell you then they understand what you are going through, and really, just that bit of sympathy, just a short line, a bit of help and a brief moment of comfort makes me feel SO very grateful. It really is a freaking ocean out there, and we are just given a F-ing sampan, without any paddles, and not taught how to orientate ourselves, not taught where to go to, and not taught how to get anyway. Of course we are often given a description of that all too familiar 'place' we are all supposed to end up in. But to many of us, it's just a too far away place, and we are just NOT taught how to go there.

alright, I shall not say too much here, for fear of persecution. Haha...But oh well, it just really sucks. i just hope that the next time I pull that jackpot, I can get something better. Because for that freaking chance to play the jackpot, I just PAY so freaking much. we all do.

Anyway thank god for this long long long weekend, and for the next long vesak day weekend!!!! I ate SO freaking much today you won't believe it! I think I ate like one weeks' worth of calories all in one day. but it was such a relaxing day, and yes! It has recharged me up a bit, thank goodness for such days to give me more motivation to work harder during e week!

And it was really fun last friday when the pple from cgh, ttsh and nuh all met up!!! And we were all exchanging ridiculous stories around the table! And it was pretty good to let out all the angst within by complaining to each other. We should really do it more often! And of course with some mahjong over the long weekends!!!

This is so random, but et has VOWED to learn her hokkien well. Cos I realized it really is something that is going to serve me well now and in future. But I so so regret not picking it up any earlier, cos both my parents speak hokkien! But they had such a good laugh today when I insisted that we converse in hokkien over lunch.

Even my dad told me to stop speaking in hokkien, cos he said that the way I speak the language makes it damn excruciating to listen to. BUT NO! I have decided, half an hour everyday!! That's the way to learn language!! Must be consistent you know.